Growing up AAA- Bisons Opening Day

Buffalo is a AAA city and that is nothing to be ashamed of. I read somewhere that in 1950 the population of the Queen City was somewhere around 1,000,000 people. Last I saw it was right around 300,000. Not too shocking considering the plight of the cities in New York that are not New York City. Our "representatives" in Albany do little to dispel the notion that there are actually other cities in this state, but that's a whole different ball of worms we're opening up there. We're a triple A city, and dammit, I'm proud to sort of live here. I actually live in a town about a half an hour north of Buffalo in a completely different county, but I was a season ticket holder of the Buffalo Bills for 10 years before my daughter was born, and am an avid fan of the Sabres, so I kinda consider myself a pseudo-quasi citizen, and I don't even have to really live there. Sort of.

At one time, not that long ago, Buffalo was a three sport city. We have the aforementioned Bills and Sabres, and the departed NBA Buffalo Braves, who pulled up stakes in 1978 for San Diego and eventually landed in Los Angeles to become the laughing stock of the league in the form of the Clippers. And now, the owner of the Bills is holding press conferences claiming he can't keep the team here unless changes are made to the way the NFL splits up its incomprehensible amount of cash. So that's not good. The Bills will probably end up in LA as well. It would only be fitting. The Sabres are back in the playoffs after taking the last 5 years off, and will win the Cup this year. Bet the farm.

If you're looking for a family event, the Sabres games are fairly tame unless they are playing a Canadian team. Especially the Leafs. Leaf games in Toronto are sold out well into the 3012 season, so every reprobate Canadian who either can't get tickets or has been banned from ever again attending games at Air Canada Center shows up in Buffalo when the Leafs are in town. And they drink. A lot. They refuse to stand and take off their hats during the National Anthem; they drink gallons of beer and swear at the home fans; and they drive poorly on their way back to the Peace Bridge. Unpleasant creatures here and back in Canada. Again, another subject.

The Bills games, on the other hand, more closely resemble one of Caligula's Roman orgies than a family event. The NFL gets all family-values when Janet Jackson's boob pops out for a nanosecond, but chooses to look elsewhere when the colossally drunk moron behind me throws up for the fourth time, screams something in which only the obscenities are understandable, smokes a joint and then passes out in the aforementioned vomit. Don't get me wrong. I love the Bills games. I was that drunk on a number of occasions. But don't give me the crap about caring how our children's delicate sensibilities were assaulted on that fateful Superbowl Sunday. On one particular football Sunday here in Buffalo, a couple was arrested for having sex in the seats. A number of years ago, a guy got hit in the head with a beer bottle and died. Babies are conceived there, and people die there. The porta-johns in the parking lot are routinely covered with blood and puke. This is NOT family entertainment. Stop pretending. By the way, I'll be queuing up for tickets as soon as they go on sale. But I'll be leaving the family unit at home.

Opening Day for our AAA Buffalo Bisons was last Friday. Good Friday. My wife, my sister, my four-year old daughter Jessie and I geared up in our Bisons jerseys and hats and made the trip to downtown Buffalo. We ate a ton of ice-cream, popcorn, peanuts and crackerjacks, had a couple beers, stood up, removed our hats and sang the National Anthem then stood again in the seventh inning stretch and sang "God Bless America" and "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," and watched the home team whup the visiting Columbus Clippers 9-1. All this and no shrieking obscenities, vomit or public humping. Earlier today, I called in sick to work, called my daughter's pre-school and called her in sick, and we went to the ballpark to watch the Bisons beat the Richmond Braves 4-2. On the way home, Jessie looked at me and said, "Thank you for taking me to the ballgame." This from a kid who has to be prompted to thank people for birthday presents. I'm thankful as well. Thankful we have a AAA baseball team. Take me out to the ballgame.